Attachment and autonomy are different sides of the same coin. When we feel safe in relationship we are more able to explore our unique selves without anxiety. A tension often exists between the desire for connection and the push towards individual development and self fulfillment. Effective therapy takes into account the importance of both attachment and differentiation when supporting couples. For many couples, attachment occurs easily at the beginning, but sustaining it is

In the Buddhist tradition, the word "attachment" and "detachment" are frequently used. People can get very confused about what that means because we can sometimes think, "Aren't you talking about something that the Buddhists say we shouldn't do? We shouldn't attach to things, right?" Attachment theory is something quite different, but there's also an interesting alignment with it. It's like the difference between connection and grasping. Attachment theory describes the bond b

We have a psycho-biological need for emotional contact and responsiveness from significant others. It's a survival response, the bond of security a baby seeks with it's mother. Research indicates that the need for secure attachment never disappears; it evolves into the adult need for a secure emotional bond with a partner. Being attached to someone means depending on your partner to respond, to know that you matter, that you are cherished, and that they will respond to your e